The older my kids get, the more I’m in favor of arranged marriages. After all, we middle-agers have some perspective about the long-haul challenges of life together—things like the role of the mother-in-law (not mine, of course), the deep-down values that are hard to see in the shimmer of infatuation, and the complexity of conflicting cultural mores and traditions.
In the patriarchal world of Genesis, of course, the matter of marriage left little room for choice. And yet, even this story of carefully orchestrated match making sheds some interesting light on our affiliations and allegiances today. Let’s take a look.
Honestly, I balk at Abraham’s resolute view that Isaac’s spouse must be “one of us.” How embarrassingly provincial and narrow-minded. On reflection, though, I admire his impulse to reconnect with his own clan—those he left in the dust decades ago—and to weave them into Isaac’s domestic life. Anyone who’s been to a family reunion after years apart gets it: Family ties are strong, and worth keeping.
Besides Abraham’s guideline, the servant uses a couple of noteworthy sifting principles of his own. First, he watches for the marker of God’s “steadfast love” in the unfolding encounter. More than that, he pauses to give God credit for the outcome! Tasked by Abraham to find a mate for Isaac, the servant looks for telltale signs that God’s in the mix.
Notice the servant’s litmus test for Rebekah. True, she’s good looking; true, she’s a virgin; true, she complies with the servant’s request for water. But where the servant seems to see God’s “steadfast love” is in her offering water for his camels as well. It turns out he’s looking for deep-down values that promise the same kind of “steadfast love” that he finds in God. How’s that for an arranged marriage that’s made in heaven?
- What do you look for in those who’ll play a significant role in your life (a spouse, a co-worker, a leader)?
- What role does God play in your relationships? Where does God bring “success” in marriage, in partnerships, in friendships?
- What other details did you notice in today’s reading?
Prayer: Sometimes, O God, we think we just “fall in” to important relationships. Help us to be deliberate, to open our eyes for markers of your presence, to forge allegiances that honor you. Amen.
Breath Prayer: Steadfast love // and faithfulness.
