And you thought Fifty Shades of Gray was scandalous! Here—yes, in the Bible—we find a rare account of female sexual power used to bring male injustice to light. The widow Tamar, wronged several times over not just by the men in her life but also by the system that makes her need them, takes matters into her own hands, "plays the whore" (38:24), and rescues her security from the one who's denied it. Given her patriarchal setting (see Gen 34), the greatest surprise of this story may be that it implicates Judah, not Tamar.
Why is he at fault? Let me count the ways. First, he seems to grow weary of marrying his sons off to Tamar and so withholds his youngest from her. Perhaps that's understandable, since he's the last one, and Judah's other sons haven't fared too well along the way. But custom, and the "social security system" of the day, require this protective marriage; otherwise, she grows even more vulnerable.
Then, there's double standard of the man who sleeps with "a prostitute," only to condemn to death his daughter-in-law when he thinks she's, um, been "whoring around." Good thing she's been clever, and foresighted, enough to prove her case. Most folks falsely accused aren't so circumspect.
But rather remarkably, when Tamar's craftiness brings Judah's offenses to light, he doesn't deny, dig himself deeper, or go on the counter-offensive. Instead, he owns up to his grievous faults and takes steps to set things right. It's a simple equation, really: We make a horrendous mistake, someone calls us on it, and we accept responsibility for repair. All of which leaves me wondering, why do we find Judah's path so hard to follow? Why do we rush to judge others and then cower in the face of our own missteps? When you figure that out, will you let me know?
- How have your assumptions about others led you astray?
- When have you been able to acknowledge your own wrongdoing in a way that restores relationships?
- What other details did you notice in today's reading?
Prayer: We're better at pointing the finger, O God, than squaring up to our own scandals. Teach us the way of life marked by honesty, with ourselves and with others. Amen.
Breath Prayer: She is more // in the right.
