By Kate Murphy
Today we find Paul rotting in jail. Felix, the governor of Caesarea, cannot legally convict Paul but, sensing he might become politically useful, will not let him go. For two years Felix stalls, waiting for his prisoner to offer him a bribe. The implication is clear, if Paul had played the game, Felix would have released him and Paul could have continued on his divine commission to preach the gospel in Rome.
So why didn't he? Paul knew people of means and had access to them. He was able to offer a bribe. Paul knew God was calling him to witness in Rome, not the jails of Caesarea, so freeing himself from what is clearly an unjust imprisonment seems both faithful and expedient. Paul was an important man with extraordinary gifts and a unique call. Why did he waste two years of his life in jail when he could easily have secured his own freedom? He didn't deserve this, so why endure it?
Because Paul had a radical trust in God. He'd seen God move in supernatural ways in his life. God had sent earthquakes to free him from prison in the past (Acts 16). He understood that if God wished him free, he would be free. And he understood suffering for the gospel as a privilege to revel in, not an obstacle to be avoided (see his boast in 2 Cor. 11:16-33).
I read this passage as one all too ready to be blessed by God as a reward for my faithfulness. The idea that faithfulness can result in suffering offends my sense of justice. I pray that God would give me the grace to trust in the goodness of God's providence when my life isnÃt going according to my plans. I wonder how often our frantic efforts to get what we deserve undo God's plan for us to bear witness in the world.
- What role has suffering played in the deepening of your faith?
- How do you determine when to accept something as the will of God and when to struggle against it?
- Have you experienced trials in your life that seemed meaningless at the time but have become places of grace in hindsight?
Prayer: Open our eyes, O God, to see the mystery of your gracious presence in our trials and in our suffering. Amen.
